Laws of Physics as applied to Cats

1 - Law of Cat Inertia:

A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest unless acted upon by some outside force such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

2 - Law of Cat Motion:

A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

3 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics:

Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, all heat flows to the cat. 

4 - Law of Cat Magnetism:

All clothing attracts cat hair in direct proportion to the degree of color difference between the cat hair and the fabric color. 

5 - Law of Cat Stretching:

A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

6 - Law of Cat Sleeping:

All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat. 

7 - Law of Cat Elongation:

A cat can make its body long enough to reach just about any countertop which has anything remotely interesting on it. 

8 - Law of Cat Acceleration:

A cat will accelerate at a constant rate until he gets good and ready to stop.

9 - Law of Obediance Resistance:

A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

10 - Law of Rug Configuration:

No rug may remain in its naturally flat state if a cat is present. 

11 - First Law of Energy Conservation:

Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible. 

12 - Second Law of Energy Conservation:

Cats also know that energy can only be stored, by a lot of napping. 

13 - Law of Refrigerator Observation:

If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. 

14 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance:

Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. 

15 - Law of Fluid Displacement:

A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

16 - Law of Cat Disinterest:

A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him. 

17 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction:

Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

18 - Law of Comfort Seeking:

A cat will will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

19 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy:

All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

20 - Law of Cat Embarrassment:

A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

21 - Law of Milk Consumption:

A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

22 - Law of Pill Rejection:

Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

23 - Law of Equidistant Separation:

All cats in a given room will locate at points equidistant from each other, and equidistant from the center of the room.

24 - Law of Space-Time Continuum:

Given enough time, a cat will land in just about any space.

25 - Law of Cat Composition:

A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.

26 - Law of Furniture Replacement:

A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

27 - Law of Cat Landing:

A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

28 - Law of Cat Invisibility:

Cats think that if they can't see you, then you can't see them.

29 - Law of Cat Probability (Cat's Uncertainty Principle):

It is not possible to predict where a cat actually is, only the probability of where it "might" be.

30 - Law of Selective Listening:

Although a cat can hear a can of tuna being opened a mile away, she can't hear a simple command three feet away.

31 - Law of Concentration of Mass:

A cat's mass increases in direct proportion to the comfort of the lap she occupies.

32 - Law of Cat Obedience:

As yet undiscovered.